I have struggled with this questiona a lot lately. I never thought I would be the person who looks back on each day and wonders if it was a productive one. I never thought I would be the person to measure my success about myself based on how "beneficial" the day was. Even worse is how I define beneficial. Beneficial to me is... Checking A LOT of items off my "To Do" list (sometimes I even write it down after I have done it just so I can feel good about checking it off), having so many meetings with people scheduled where I barely even have enough time to take a leak, and basically not wasting any time and getting from to place to place and person to person. I often think more about what I am doing NEXT than about what I am doing NOW (please don't comment if you have noticed me do that to you as an individual... I am being vulnerable :).
Here is my point. The way I measure success and productivity is not the way I believe God measures it. Over time I have begun to develop this skewed view of what makes a good day a "good day." Now I am in a place where God and I differ on our opinions of this. I may be feeling good about myself and God is just frowning. He is probably saying, "Kory, you missed this chance to talk to that person. You missed that chance to help this guy with his broken down car. This person was about to show major vulnerability about their past with you, but you were too worried about getting to the next thing. The lady at the cash register was having a bad day, but you were too busy to even say hello and have some friendly talk. You missed out on a lot today, but I hope you still feel good about your self because you checked some things off your list." OUCH! That hurts, but I believe that is what He would say if I even gave Him enough time to tell me.
This has been a struggle in Keller Park. This is the question we get asked every day, "What does a typical day look like for you?" This is a valid question, but I often feel like I could give a more valid answer if I shared my "To Do" list with that person. However, Ali and I have seen the Holy Spirit move the most during the times when we have nothing planned or scheduled. We see Him work when we live each day with great margins to jump on the opportunity that the Holy Spirit throws our way. Kids and people show up at our door or call our phone at all different times every day. We can't put that down on paper, because we don't know when it's going to happen. All that Ali and I can do is be ready each time that it does happen. And because we have graciously been given the opportunity to have freedom to the let the Holy Spirit work we have seen Him work! It is really quite simple... when you want the Holy Spirit to work in your lives you must give Him time to do it. Ali and I are learning that each day despite the lies that Satan tries to throw our way.
-Kory
5 comments:
Wow- That's something we all need to think about! It's not easy to move away from our agenda and let God steer us in another direction. But what could be more important?
Thanks for sharing that honestly Kory. I want to talk to you more about this. This is the infamous "area" that Dad talks to us about a lot. We need to challenge each other and hold each other accountable in this struggle. It's very real and doesn't go away easily....
Those are great observations. I can tell you're learning and growing like crazy because you recognize those things. I agree with your brother. This is a very real struggle and we need to be consistently checking ourselves in this area. I think the lies you were talking about are all about us getting significance from doing, doing, doing, and feeling important, than from finding our worth and significance in Christ.
Thanks for the learning moment bud. Stay Encouraged!
I agree with the above. Awesome. Thanks for sharing Kory. You and Ali amaze me.
Kory,
Thanks for sharing your heart. As a stay-at-home mom, I can totally identify with those feelings. I am also a "to-do list" person and will make those lists to help myself feel productive too! I have learned (and am still learning) how God honors my commitment to be here for my children, just as He is honoring your sacrifice for the people of your neighborhood. We are praying for you guys!
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